Doc’s Crazy Conspiracy Corner: Television Edition

The opinions, conspiracy theories, regular theories, and pseudo-facts in this article are not necessarily shared or believed by the rest of the Grind Syndicate.  They are the sole creation of the overly connective neurons of Doctor Jeff and his slightly twisted mind  (hell, even he sometimes doesn’t even believe it, he’s just writing it to stir shit up).  The Doc does not confirm or deny that anything in here is actually fact, because even if he were to site a well respected or not so well respected source – they also could be lying and/or wrong, .  However, the contents herein will hopefully make you look at the world in a different way, give you something to think about, entertain the enlightened, and most definitely anger the brooding masses.


Don’t get me wrong.  I love some me some television.  But at the same time, it’s bothering me that television is the strongest drug out there, and no one is really talking about it that way. TV, in large doses, is not healthy for you, both physically and mentally, and it can change the way you feel, your  psyche, and mood. TV can influence you in ways you’d never dream or realize, while also pacifying you and riling you up at the same time. It is an epidemic of Saturday morning cartoons about underwater creatures, paternity suit frequented talk shows, reality stars (shudder), and sitcoms programmed for the lowest common denominator. The epidemic caused by television has now spread to the internet, movies, video games, and music. We’re in a world of people who experience everything more and more digitally. This is having some serious effects on the human population. Television is the number one reason for the increasing amount of mental health problems and the reason why people are not more outraged by what a joke this world has become[citation missing]. Don’t get me wrong, some of the things on TV are an example of human achievement at the highest level. Adele has a beautiful voice, Breaking Bad is a transcendent show, Avatar, for all its narrative flaws, revolutionized special effects (as does most of James Cameron’s work), GTA and MPR have redefined video games, and the computer, along with the internet, have pretty much changed our species forever. The best could possibly be great for us, but the other crap out there…not so much. But then again, who gets to decide what is great and worthwhile and what isn’t? Media has become a giant, complex mirror reflecting an overstimulated and apathetic world.  It all finds a market because what plays on the TV is a reflection of us; we are, on some level, what we watch.


One of my favorite stories from visual psychophysics is about the history of television technology. When television was first released, as many of you know, the picture was only in black and white. Then, color television was invented (you probably know that too), and since color is how we actually see the world, the invention was pretty freakin’ awesome. However, there was a theoretical issue. Ya see, black and white only requires one channel of information: white to black. But color requires 3 channels (red, green, and blue) of information, and that meant more data for the airwaves, which were already full. You know how when you’ve been downloading too many pirated movies and can’t download anymore cuz your mom’s got the cheap data plan? Well, it was like that. But what if you have to download a certain amount of pirated movies everyday to keep that cheddar flowing, but now, the movies were three times as big. You’d be fucked. But wait! It turns out that you have fewer cones in your eyes than you have rods. Cones read color, while rods read black and white. What the television industry realized is that if they switched the programs to color, but only put it out at 1/3 of the resolution, no one would notice because their eyes couldn’t tell the difference……….. Think about it.


Television is highly addictive, affects your mood and hormones, and makes you want to eat more and be more lazy. The acquisition mechanism is different from your classic ‘drug,’ but that’s what makes television addiction so sneaky. You see, for some, television is no problem. They can watch very little, have it be a part of their lives, and everything is all fine and dandy. But so many more people are addicted to this wonder drug, with no real worry of what it’s doing to them because they don’t pop it, snort it, smoke it, or inject it into their eyeball.


We’ve all heard of television being referred to as the ‘boob tube,’ or the ‘idiot box,’ which always seemed short sighted, because, of course, there is terrible television, as well as incredibly awesome television (that the term ‘boob’ tube doesn’t seem to encapsulate). I wasn’t just using words when I said Breaking  Bad was transcendent  It’s really taken television to another level and set new standards.  But then again, last season’s Boardwalk Empire was great. Game of Thrones – I hear there’s a whole world of shows worth watching. So yes, there is the useless treacle (Honey Boo Boo), but the greatness of the craft is close to unmatched. And besides, everyone, including you and your family and friends watch TV. And they’re perfectly fine……for the most part……


As the television industry has expanded, the quality and choices in television programming have become more and more varied. But isn’t this pushing things even further? The shows are becoming too good[similar to the perfect blue crystal meth that Mr. White cooks up], and they are beginning to matter too much(also similar to the perfect blue crystal meth…if you like that kind of stuff). It is replacing and substituting a little too much of your actual life. And your friends and family? Studies show that they’re probably crazy too and television helped them turn that way.


Crack, Cocaine, marijuana, alcohol, speed, heroin.  All of the typical ‘drugs’ actually can have positive purposes.  In the right doses, they can be used to help people and can even improve someone’s life.  The same is true of television.  We now have a country that is full of soap opera crack heads (soapheads???), and ESPN junkies.


Researchers found that people won’t just reason differently due to mob mentality, but will also perceive differently. For example, if you see an evil person that everyone says is good, you will, in turn, see a good person. Television takes great advantage of this mob mentality. News outlets are highlighting and featuring major events the way they want to. They are giving you the script to quote to someone else, telling you which questions to ask, and also coming to conclusions for you. The internet is flooding our brains with ‘news’ and leaving people even more confused than before. The narrative is changing way too often, but the facts stay the same.



Reality television is supposedly about reality, when in actuality, it is a different genre of television programming, only with less famous people that features less traditional narrative and more theoretical competition, but in general, is not ‘real.’ It is still fake. The shows are scripted with either no famous people, or famous people being ‘themselves.’ But it is not reality like how real reality is (make sense?). Or, just maybe, could reality television be bridging the gap between virtual and real that the singularity is going to base itself on? Who knows?


There is also the matter of digital disconnect (copyright Dr. Jeff), or the emotions people feel based on watching television. But these emotions are not real. They can’t be real. Hundreds of years ago, on the Great Plains, hunting antelope, that shit was real. The Wheel of Fortune and 2 and a ½ men – that shit is not real. And what is that doing for you? Has anyone answered that? Has anyone even asked that (except for, of course, Dr. Jeff.  But we are talking about normal, regular people of society here)? How much is this whole television mess fucking with you? Television HAS TO be one of the most psychologically and physically influencing factors on us in current society, with the internet and its overlap in functionality being just an extension of that. But no one seems to question it. Want to know why? Because the great You Es of ‘Murica is holding on dearly to television and all media entertainment and all of its glorious, gripping, mind-twisting powers. We have fucked everything in this world, and in the universe, but at least we can still make motherfuckers laugh. Tom Cruise is still a box office star. But international stardom is coming. PSY is on his grind. Best believe.


tv addicg


Currently, I’m not watching any television or movies. I’ll watch a tutorial, maybe a documentary, a ted talk, a music video, or something that someone wants my feedback on. I don’t sit down to watch television. I’m not going to the movie theaters. It’s interesting because I’m getting more work done. I feel less plugged in than ever before. At the same time, I feel more present, more ‘now.’ It is very intriguing for me to go to someone’s house, where people watch TV. They watch it with no question, because it is ingrained in our culture.



Dr. Jeff, hard at work.

The TV does not challenge you because there’s no money in that.  The people who challenge you can’t afford a spot on television. But they can on the internet.  That internet – its a great experiment.  We’ve basically created the most intelligent system known to man and are actively working on figuring out how to give it consciousness.  On the other hand, it’s basically a combination of television, the telephone, and a wealth of information of structure.  This provides some of the same issues television has.  But it is not controlled in the same ways.  Internet means news from everywhere.  However, the crowd of people in your room is bigger too.  Instead of being able to think by yourself, you think based on a Facebook wall that’s dictated by people who, for the most part, are part of the geo-political, capitalistic enterprise we call extended modern US society.



Who’s behind this conspiracy?  Come on….really?….Everyone!!! Roughly any organization or major personality.  Every company creates and funds commercials for television air time.  Politicians.  All of them.  They’re in on it.  They know they’re fucking with your head.  That’s the point.  No one pays for an advertisement that makes you think the same thing….Right.  That’s a failure.  No.  It has to change your mind.  The absolute most successful, best commercial will change your mind more than any other.  The same kinda goes for television shows.  The best shows will make you laugh and cry and interest you….in nothing.  A glowing box of fake people that you didn’t really experience.  You’ve already got your foot in the door of the matrix.  Real life sucks.  TV life is great.  Matrix life….it is like being in the TV.  Everyone on television is basically paving the way for you to live in a virtual world.  Your brain is being conditioned and molded to think how they want you to think and feel how they want you to feel.  Music ques in television tell you how to feel, but we don’t have that in real life.  Booh.


Take away questions?  How many years and quality of life have you lost to television?  How addicted are you and your immediate friends and family?  Why do so many people like 2 ½ men?


Doctor Jeff, when he’s not busy being that crazy white guy on the street corner, wearing nothing but a sign bearing the coming of the apocalypse, is a moviemaker. For more into his crazy mind, check out Revolutionary Productions, and make sure to stay posted for his weekly edition, Doc’s Crazy Conspiracy Corner!





One comment

  1. Pingback: Doc’s Crazy Conspiracy Corner: Television Edition | revolproductions

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